Terry-free but Terry-fied?

Once more it is time to speak of my dear friend and one time almost brawl-buddy Lee “This IS my serious face” Terry. 

s-TERRY-LEE-large

Around a decade later than he promised to leave office (but who’s counting?), Omaha is about to force Lee to get a REAL job to pay for his nice house and kids’ college tuition. Presumably at his new job he won’t be able to do nothing and make a shitpile of money.

The conservative folks over at Real Clear Politics have moved the Terry/Brad Ashford race from a sure thing for Terry, to probable for Terry, to slightly for Terry. And now, with polls showing a 41-41% tie, the race is officially “A Toss Up.” 

Which means Brad Ashford is totally going to win. 

Now, Brad could win on his own. That’s possible. Terry’s strategy is the same-old Republican ploy of claiming Brad Ashford somehow falls on the left side of the most liberal person you know. There’s just the small problem of that being completely and totally a load of shite. 

Ashford has run for office under the banner of BOTH major parties and as an independent. You’re telling me that the guy who ran for mayor as an Independent LAST YEAR, who ran for congress the first time as a Republican, is somehow going to pull Nancy Pelosi further to the left. It’s almost like Terry doesn’t understand how politics actually works… I mean, the ruse is successful sometimes because people don’t actually investigate such things, but if they do, Terry’s fussing and yelling about Ashford’s “liberal” nature is gonna make him look even dumber. And that takes some doing when you’re talking about a guy who answered a question about giving up his paycheck for charity during the government lockout he caused by talking about his “nice house.” 

Side note: I like Ashford just fine. I definitely like the way in which he isn’t Lee Terry, something he’s INCREDIBLY good at, as is everyone but Lee Terry. But if you want the truest test of how much he is NOT a liberal extremist, Ashford doesn’t really tickle my fancy as a democrat. He’s pragmatic and will work with both parties, so that’s a good thing for sure and reason alone to send him to Washington. But I personally support candidates that are much more liberal. Sothis when Terry mushmouths his way through nonsensical slander about Ashford’s political leanings this fall, remember that the guy who started a blog about liberal politics thinks he’s not liberal enough. 

Anyway, none of that is why the Terry camp is piss-pantsing themselves. No, the source of their terror is this fiesty pitbull, this towering juggernaut of pure American swagger:

MAXWELL

I really love that picture because it looks like he’s doing silly voices and having his hands talk to each other.

That’s Chip Matthews, destroyer of Terry dreams, harbinger of Terry’s campaign death. He’s a Libertarian Republican, which is fast becoming the group who chides me and challenges me most often, mostly because it’s really easy to nebulously claim the government is awful and want to ignore it.

Anyway, Matthews hasn’t decided officially to run for office as a Libertarian in this fall election, but if he does, Terry is straight-up boned, yo. Remember, it’s 41-41 right now WITHOUT Maxwell siphoning any votes from Terry, which he most certainly would. The minute Maxwell announces, it’s sayonara to the Terry dynasty in the 2nd congressional district. 

And then Ashford would probably get a full 2-year term to himself before being beaten by Maxwell in the next cycle. And there’s the rub. Democrats who are frothing at the mouth to get Maxwell in the race are forgetting the part where that gives him name recognition, campaign experience, and the front-runner seat to win the GOP primary next time out and then, likely, regain the 2nd district seat. So before we go begging for Chip Maxwell, whose name sounds like a villainous jock boyfriend from a TV movie, let’s see who he is.

He’s the kind of guy who loved the government shutdown

Don’t believe me? Check out his site: Check With Chip. You’ll find lots of rants about various issues on which Maxwell parties more tea than the Tea Party. One of my favorite samples:

Some leftists laugh at people who believe in God and practice religion, yet they become completely servile to the god of big government.

Yes, that seems like a perfectly reasonable comparison and not at all slanted or delusional. He’s the kind of guy who gives sloppy wet kisses to the holy constitution and cites Thomas Jefferson, as he notes:

I can’t resist sharing this again:

 

I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government to the genuine principles of its Constitution; I mean an additional article taking from the federal government the power of borrowing.

                                                        Thomas Jefferson, 1798

Those guys crack me up. Hey, Chip, TJ also said this: “Every constitution then, and every law, naturally expires at the end of 19 years. If it be enforced longer, it is an act of force, and not of right.” So…let’s talk about doing that whole thing over! Let’s start with the second amendment!

He’s a Catholic

I admit that the new Pope is doing a MUCH better job of making that whole thing a lot more palatable. Far be it for me to criticize people’s religious beliefs, but this is an institution that still has problems with women, gays, contraception, and that whole child sex scandal. A new Pope does not fix all sins, I’m afraid. But this one is more of a “for your information” note about Chippy.

He’s kinda crazy 

One of the funniest things in the world to me is how the Libertarian folks wail and gnash their teeth and have nightmares about the debt their kids are going to have to pay but then don’t do anything about climate change. Because the important thing is that our kids don’t owe money, not that they still have a planet to live on. 

Anyway, if you want a good chuckle, check out Chip’s powerpoint about the deficit. It’s filled with tons of inaccuracies and political cartoons. But you’ll want to skip to the end. Actually, let’s just highlight my favorite parts of his plan:

His stated goal is to replace the “looters” in Washington with crusaders. Because when have crusades ever been a bad thing?

  • He wants to end social security and medicare. Wait, are you sure you read that? Because he wants to END social security AND medicare. For real. 
  • He wants to resurrect the “Contract with America.” 
  • He wants to return spending authority to “the limits established by the constitution.” You know, like Jefferson wanted. So Chip is, of course, talking about the constitution we rewrote within the last 19 years.

Look, I want Terry out. Bad. But if we can do it without somehow empowering a guy who seems to be EVEN WORSE, let’s do that. Lord have mercy if I’m still writing stuff about Chip Maxwell 2 years from now…

 

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